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Singing with the Sirens: Overcoming the Long-Term Effects of Childhood Sexual Exploitation, by Ellyn Bell, Stacey Bell
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Numerous women in our culture have experienced shame, degradation, and despair as a result of having been sexually traumatized early in life. Some of these women end up in unhappy marriages or abusive relationships; some fall prey to a variety of addictions, silently or publicly; and some find themselves working in the sex industry. And for many survivors, their situations―and the situations that have brought them there―are secrets that have no voice.
In Singing with the Sirens, experts Ellyn Bell and Stacey Bell address the long term complex trauma that results from the sexual abuse and exploitation of girls and young women, drawing on their personal and professional experiences to explore the link between the sexual abuse of children, issues of attachment and safety, and the commercial exploitation of young people. But this is not strictly a scholarly book or a memoir of personal experience; rather, the authors address this problem from a perspective of self-realization and transformation, taking the reader on a journey through mythological tales toward finding healing from within. Poetic, hopeful, and powerful, Singing with the Sirens is a call for wounded women everywhere to reclaim their own truth, spirit, and to sing with their authentic voice.
- Sales Rank: #1478785 in Books
- Published on: 2015-05-13
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.40" h x .70" w x 5.50" l, .0 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 280 pages
Review
“Reading this book makes me feel as if my heart is being held by hidden hands. It is an exquisitely crafted guide that carries you through a dark truth, encouraging you to risk your significance and make a difference in the world.”
—Dawna Markova, PhD, author of I Will Not Die An Unlived Life.
About the Author
Ellyn Bell has worked as an organizational leader with at-risk and marginalized youth and addressing violence against women and children for 20 years. Her personal experiences as a youth informed her career choices. She was most recently, the Executive Director of the SAGE Project in San Francisco, one of the first peer-led organizations in the country to work with human trafficking and commercially exploited youth and adults. She holds a Master’s Degree in Religion, with an emphasis in Theology. She also received her social work license in the State of Iowa. Ellyn is also a yoga teacher and a trained dancer. She is mother to two wonderful people who are now extraordinary young adults.
Stacey Bell was born and raised in the United Kingdom. After suffering abuse as a child, she immigrated to the US at the age of sixteen and became exposed to exploitation and other traumas. Today, Stacey serves young people as the Youth Development Director for an urban school district in Northern California. She has a Masters in Social Work and is in the process of completing her doctorate in International Multicultural Education with an emphasis in Human Rights Education. First and foremost, Stacey is a mother, both to her biological children, as well as all the babies she has mothered, mentored, and supported over the years. She is a partner at Bella Invictus with Ellyn Bell.
Most helpful customer reviews
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
Every woman should read this book and dig deep within herself.
By Manpreet Komal
I finished this book upon landing at Pele's island, the Big Island. It doesn't get any more symbolic than that. And, Amen to that!
They say, a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. I am here to tell you Ellyn and Stacey have jumped far, wide, and beyond the imagination of a woman that suffers silently throughout her life without knowing why...
Many of my good friends are already ordering or reading this book. I will be personally sending many as gifts. BRAVO to both of you for putting this on paper. The words of depth in pain, love, poetry in this book go deep into ages of what resides underneath the ocean of a woman's heart.
It is to be noted that this book is not just for women that are sexually exploited even though that is often a repressed memory but it is also for the everyday woman. I think this books goes deep and each chapter is kind of like a healing crisis. It has the power to change the world one read at a time. Order and watch yourself transform on how you see another woman and yourself.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
this beautiful healing book is an excellent resource for my clients ...
By Andrew Rose
As a professional therapist, this beautiful healing book is an excellent resource for my clients and community. Bell and Bell provide hope and a powerful voice for all of the forgotten ones - those who have been abused, exploited and injured at the hands of others. Bell and Bell offer important guidance in finding and strengthening emotional recovery. They affirm that we can always discover wellness inside ourselves and overcome even the most painful of traumas. The process not only heals our own hearts and spirits, but also creates a ripple effect outward aiding the healing of others.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
I must tell you about this book because it is a love story for the wounded
By Pat Beaupre Becker
How do I write about a book that exposed my sadness and shame – named my sorrow and repeatedly reminds me that I have worth? I dove into the depths of darkness and returned with parts of my lost self. I am still on a healing journey that started when I was about 25; it has taken longer than I ever could have imagined. We live during an exciting era when science is showing us that we have many more opportunities to understand and to change our brains. The book reminds me that it doesn’t matter how long it takes; it is possible – it is real -- and it is worth it.
I must tell you about this book because it is a love story for the wounded. It is an honoring of those who are not given a second thought, who are dismissed as unimportant, who are left behind. It is a shining light to all women – those of us trapped in current day slavery, those of us who have unconsciously conspired against ourselves. It is for the onlookers who watch their sisters, lovers, wives and mothers struggle for dignity in a world where it is not a guarantee.
The book clearly acknowledges that there is no one size fits all solution; each woman has a particular story and an individual path forward. There are no two alike. Yet like snowflakes, that share coldness, whiteness and stratus, we share a common human response: loss of self-worth. “There is no other event that makes the human mind as confused, painful and destructive as sexual abuse and traumatic sexual experiences.” states Dr. K. Elan Jung in his book, Sexual Trauma: A Challenge, Not Insanity*. I have no way to validate this statement, however, I am certain that early abuse is confusing, painful and destructive.
My brother, who died at the age of 49 from a heroin overdose and undiagnosed heart disease said to me during his darkest days, “How do you do it? How do you face life each day?” He believed he could not face his demons. His quick demise after more than 15 years of recovery back into addiction was shocking, heart breaking and eye-opening. His death taught me that the suffering we feel in our bodies and souls and the thoughts we believe can lead us to despair. Singing with the Sirens challenges us to make the deep dive into the darkness of our history. Weaving tales of ancient mythology and voices of survivors of sexual violence in juvenile detention with social analysis and their own stories of recovery make Singing with the Sirens a moving and important book.
Why was I able to get out alive? Growing up in the emerging years of the women’s movement taught me that I had a voice, although early on, I hardly spoke. These women were bold; they took umbrage at our culture’s attitudes towards women’s value, worth and place in society. They wrote about racism and sexism and homophobia. They challenged the status quo and privileged and exposed its darker side. For me, they provided a larger context for my own life. I wasn’t just a little girl who had a bad experience; I was one among many, who all suffered in silence, and who without intervention would continue to wreak havoc in our own lives. Sirens is continuing these essential conversations with courage and insight.
“Becoming aware of the places of wreckage in our lives, and making choices about what we need to do to heal, address, or ignore these places, is up to each person to embrace.” Singing with the Sirens, p 199
In Sirens, the authors discuss an abundance of paths to recovery. They also share one important and very simple process: a circle of sharing among women. The creation of a safe place to speak aloud the unspeakable acts that were done to us and that we, in turn, may have done to others. A safe place to take responsibility with courage, thus changing our futures in the present moment. Moment by moment. The authors have created a feminist love story that is filled with the roaring sea, deep scars and the breath of resurrection. It speaks the truth and it includes you and me.
Today there is another movement afoot. It has a spiritual bent and it includes all people and the creatures of the earth. It is being spread by many women’s circles meeting all over the world. Facing our demons, forgiving ourselves, supporting each other, uncovering inner peace and joy. When we stop fighting ourselves, the fighting stops. Find your circle. Create your safe place. Speak your truth.
Sirens is a loving reminder that though the path of healing and recovery is not easy, it is essential and we are worth it.
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