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Unequally Yoked: How to Preserve the Restoration and still save your Marriage., by Bret L Corbridge
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In Mormonism today, there exists a growing number of LDS couples, who find themselves in a complicated situation. Generally speaking, these men and women have been married in the temple, are active in the church, and are working to raise children in this dark and difficult world. Although every story is unique, the basic challenge these couples face is similar. One spouse, and it can be either the husband or the wife, determines to search deeper into the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the glories of the Kingdom. (D&C 42:61). He or she studies scripture and then compares the holy word of God to what the LDS Church is currently teaching. This comparison results in a spiritual awakening, where the growing member realizes just how much light and truth has been lost since the death of the Prophet Joseph Smith. They may then try to share their new perspective with those they love, but often find that the other does not appreciate their new understanding, and instead would rather stay in the religious traditions passed down by the fathers. (D&C 93:39). To assist these couples in working through spiritual differences, a twelve-step program is provided here in this text.
- Sales Rank: #1988353 in Books
- Published on: 2015-05-04
- Original language: English
- Dimensions: 10.00" h x .19" w x 7.00" l,
- Binding: Paperback
- 80 pages
Most helpful customer reviews
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
A guide for dealing with religious disparities in marriage...without despairing!
By William T. Carter
Marriage implies unity. Nevertheless, every married couple struggles at times with being “unequally yoked”. Mormons “sealed” to each other by ceremony in holy temples generally view marriage with an eternal perspective, pledging to remain “true and faithful in all things” — to the gospel of Jesus Christ and to each other — both here and hereafter. For Mormons, no undertaking is more sacred, solemn, solidifying or satisfying than the effort to secure an eternal marriage.
Consequently, when one spouse “has a testimony” of the gospel of Jesus Christ as taught by the modern LDS Church and the other spouse “loses” theirs (or substantially changes it), this “apostasy” is often regarded by the “still believing” spouse as tantamount to adultery, fracturing the faith and threatening to unravel the priesthood ties that bind husband and wife together for eternity. In many respects, this development is viewed by the “believing” spouse as worse than death while the “apostate” experiences a great “awakening” or “liberation”. The “believer” may consider divorce. Meanwhile, the “apostate” usually struggles to coax their yet-Mormon companion to join them in appreciating their newly discovered (or renewed) faith and perspective.
This book is not about “losing” one’s LDS faith or “regaining” it. It’s about healing broken (and breaking) marriages despite couples having intense, internal struggles about once-held common religious beliefs and practices. This book is written to help mixed-Mormon couples communicate with each other their mixed-up feelings. It’s about dealing with disparities without despairing. It’s not your typical Mormon self-help marriage manual, however. The authors embrace a unique perspective that recognizes on-going changes evident in Mormon culture and doctrine. While they do not detail with any specificity the many elements of the modern Mormon apostasy (and restoration), they acknowledge that it’s happening and that it’s affecting the lives of thousands, tearing many Mormon marriages apart.
Hence, the need for this book. It’s a 12-step program for healing hearts and mending marriages by way of better communication and God’s grace. Couples are invited to engage in specific acts of dialogue, following concrete steps to rekindle and preserve the unity and love they once felt and shared while honoring their spouse’s free agency by patiently waiting for personal growth and maturation to unfold. (Spoiler: Each spouse is urged to become a more faithful disciple of Jesus Christ by putting into practice His holy principles.)
I have read all 80 pages of this tiny, informative text and look forward to implementing it as I read it again with my Mormon spouse. Like Bret Corbridge’s other superlative work regarding the latter-day restoration , 77 Truths, this book, written with his wife, Samantha, is an informative and inspiring read. I do not doubt the principles contained therein, when practiced, will bring peace and greater harmony, even unity, to couples in good marriages who are otherwise ravaged by religious disunity.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Can't wait to read it again
By Jeffrey Richardson
This book was fantastic, because it's centered on the exact situation I find myself in. I read the whole book in one sitting (80 pages). Although it is a quick read, one can't help but feel the need to read and re-read it again, so that they may know how to better apply the steps into their own lives. Once one is able to identify where they are on the 12 step process, light and truth begins to fill their minds and affirms to their soul that this process indeed works.
I recommend it to all who may find their doctrinal beliefs differing with their spouse's, particularly the Restoration through the Prophet Joseph Smith.
5 stars.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
This must-read if you find yourself in an unequally yoked marriage.
By Andy B
Very inspired. Very well written answer addressing the problem.
This from the introduction:
"In Mormonism today, there exists a growing number of LDS couples who find themselves in a complicated situation. Generally speaking, these men and women have been married in the temple, are active in the church, and are working to raise children in this dark and difficult world."
"Although every story is unique, the basic challenge these couples face is similar. One spouse, and it can be either the husband or the wife, determines to search deeper into the gospel of Jesus Christ and the glories of the Kingdom. (D&C 42:61) He or she studies scripture and then compares the holy word of God to what the LDS Church is currently teaching. Making this comparison results in a spiritual awakening, which includes a realization of how much light and truth has been lost since the death of the Prophet Joseph Smith. This person may try to share their new understanding with those they love, only to find that others do not appreciate the additional perspective, and instead choose to stay in their religious traditions. (D&C 93:39)"
"In general, the spouse in harmony with the mainstream believes in Jesus Christ, and that spiritual safety comes in following the prophet. He or she is 'active in the church.' Meanwhile, the spouse who desires to reclaim and preserve the Restoration believes in Jesus Christ, and that spiritual growth comes through following the Holy Spirit. He or she is 'active in the gospel.' "
"In a day when many marriages have one spouse who has stopped believing in the Restoration altogether, it seems strange that there would be problems between two people who both continue to believe in the fundamentals of the gospel; but this odd and unfortunate situation is playing out all over the church right now. Bret Corbridge, a marriage and family therapist in Colorado, is uniquely qualified to address this problem. This thin manual is essentially a Twelve Step Program for saving marriages between two people who have more in common than they often realize, and I'm happy to report that in most instances believing couples are easily finding that common ground. They may feel at first as if they belong to separate religions (and in a sense, they do), but the Corbridges, who once found themselves at odds with one another over these very issues, eventually learned there was really nothing separating them except the desire to understand. Each "step" in this wonderful little book fills about a page and a half with wise counsel geared to help bring couples back together in a godly marriage. Though one would think divisions on religious lines should be a non-issue among couples whose core religious values are virtually identical, the dichotomy is real enough for some couples. For them, this little book will bring back the happiness." - Quoted portions of this review are copied from a post by Alan Waterman.
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